i know i made the right choice, to be a stay at home mom. the thing is… that with that comes certain sacrifices. like having to taking the bus. sometimes i worry that it’s not fair to the children, also having to make sacrifices, even though they are too young to realize they are sacrifices. as we sit on the bus, that is too crowded, we are squashed and uncomfortable and pushed into a single seat like a can of something…and i think…”what have i done wrong”? then finally, we get off after a final ding of the bell and grasp a breath of fresh air. i push maelee... and pull amory along the street, dragging myself to the appointment we need to keep… wondering “what have i done wrong”? then as we walk, i am holding amory’s, little, warm ,perfect hand and he looks up at me and asks “tell me more about when you were a little girl”. i look down at my little rose in the stroller, fast asleep with her fairy wings tucked behind her all askew and i begin to tell my stories that even i had forgotton about. we then stop at the corner waiting for the light to change…and i look at the smiling, passing faces and i can see that they are thinking “there is someone who is doing it right”. we continue to walk and talk, in our own little world. everything around us is bustling and still at the same moment, as we enjoy every second that passes us by. and i remind myself that this is what it’s all about. my heart sinks as we arrive at our destination …and my heart longs for our next bus ride.
Making Pickles Today
7 months ago