Wednesday, May 28, 2008

enjoy the ride

i know i made the right choice, to be a stay at home mom. the thing is… that with that comes certain sacrifices. like having to taking the bus. sometimes i worry that it’s not fair to the children, also having to make sacrifices, even though they are too young to realize they are sacrifices. as we sit on the bus, that is too crowded, we are squashed and uncomfortable and pushed into a single seat like a can of something…and i think…”what have i done wrong”? then finally, we get off after a final ding of the bell and grasp a breath of fresh air. i push maelee... and pull amory along the street, dragging myself to the appointment we need to keep… wondering “what have i done wrong”? then as we walk, i am holding amory’s, little, warm ,perfect hand and he looks up at me and asks “tell me more about when you were a little girl”. i look down at my little rose in the stroller, fast asleep with her fairy wings tucked behind her all askew and i begin to tell my stories that even i had forgotton about. we then stop at the corner waiting for the light to change…and i look at the smiling, passing faces and i can see that they are thinking “there is someone who is doing it right”. we continue to walk and talk, in our own little world. everything around us is bustling and still at the same moment, as we enjoy every second that passes us by. and i remind myself that this is what it’s all about. my heart sinks as we arrive at our destination …and my heart longs for our next bus ride.


Anonymous said...

That's a sweet story.

emacgrass said...

my dear, noeleen, your sacrafices are absolutely worth every moment with your children. they are lucky to have such a loving & nuturing mum and dad :)

Anonymous said...

Dearest Noeleen,

A friend of mine sent me this and I thought it was kind of appropriate and may help you when you are thinking about your life and what you are doing. I love you and always will. Mummy


A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say, Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'